The Strange Adventures of Kurama L Minamino
by TheDarkBladePrince
Summary: In which hot guys will be turned gay, ugly guys will be turned hot then gay, females will turn into fishes and turtles will rise up and beat up people.
1. Prologue the week before

Pyro: Disclaimer, Once upon a time there lived a girl by the name Pyro-Chan. She owned a pretty pencil that lighted up when she pushed a button. It died so she blew it to bits. Then she went on a quest to own YYH but Yoshihiro Togashi'S EVIL pandas of doom attacked her. Since pandas are endangered she couldn't kill them, which brought shame on her family who abandoned her in the street. She later died of hunger and a hobo stole her skin and made it into a coat. Pyro-Chan liked being a coat and married the trench coat of Seto Kaiba and had many little coat children. THE END.

Pyroiceprince: --U in other words… we don't own YYH and never will. We really have no idea what this story is going to be about but… enjoy!

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Characters: 

Tuzoku: runs Kurama-san's Computer. He'll pop up in random episodes.

Super Computer: Likes long trips on the beach at night…

Mukaitsu: that's a secret…

**-In a dark alley-**

_Mukaitsu gasped and hid behind the wall as the Turtles ran by. The sound of their fins echoed through the alley. Kneeing on the ground Mukaitsu coughed and grimaced as the wound in his side throbbed in pain. "Shit…"_

Kurama was sitting on the couch reading a book when all of a sudden he heard strange noses coming from the bathroom. Having just had a recent encounter with a demon that tried to crawl up the bathroom sink Kurama decided to check it out. As he came closer to the door Kurama frowned…was that squeaking he heard? Confused by the strange tune he could faintly hear Kurama opened the door…

Inside was Hiei and Yusuke taking a bath- together…Yusuke was washing Hiei's shoulders and Hiei was holding a small rubber ducky and singing a song.

_" 'Rubber ducky, joy of joys, ** squeak squeak **  
When I squeeze you, you make noise, ** squeak squeak **  
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you,  
Boop boop be doop,' "_

Kurama stared at them, eyes popped out, jaw dropped and brain dead as both Yusuke and Hiei slowly turned around to face him. Yusuke's normally gelled back hair had pretty pink bows in it and someone had clearly tattooed on Hiei's chest "I heart Rainbows!" on it surrounded by prettyful flowers that had happy faces on them. Both were smiling and Kurama was pretty sure they were wearing glitter. Hiei grinned and reached out both hands to Kurama.

"Squeaky Kura-chan! Squeaky!

**-In Kurama's super computer-**

_Tuzoku: this… this doesn't make since! COMPUTER! TRANSLATION!_

_Translation...loading…loading…ERROR! ERROR! UNKNOWN!_

_Tuzoku: unknown? Th-That's not possible! -Screams and runs away-_

_-Computer blows up-_

**-Back in "Kura-chan's" bathroom-**

Backing out of the room slowly, Kurama closed the door tightly before passing out all over the floor. Hiei and Yusuke shrugged before going back to singing.

**-Kurama didn't wake up for a whole week-**

**-Hiei and Yusuke were both found in the bathtub the next day by a hobo wearing a human skin coat-**

**-Tuzoku died-**

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Pyroiceprince: -twitch- this is what we get for watching Excel Saga at 2:55 AM… oh well… please Review and tell me what the hell I'm going to do with this story.

Pyro: …we live in a cardboard box outside a Tokyo Mc-Donald's…the Hobo's want our skin.

Pyroiceprince: I TOLD you not to give them any ideas!


	2. question of sexuality Morphine&Fishes!

-**Recorded conversation-**

Pyro: you know what's weird? People say I'm to literal in my writing! But the rest of the time they keep telling me to be more literal… WHICH IS IT? Please review and tell if I'm being too literal… I don't like being literal… It makes me think I'm going to grow up to be an accountant! I HATE MATH! HOW CAN A RAM/LIBRA BE AN ACCOUNTANT? HUH? HUH?

Pyroiceprince: (smacks Pyro with a fan) Pyro-chan… shut up. NOW or I will hurt you. I'm serious… I will skin you alive if you don't shut up.

Pyro: uh… I think the hobos have done that for you… (Pushes her lung back under her ribcage) darn thing keeps slipping out…

Pyroiceprince: it's your own fault.

Pyroiceprince: (frown) what crawled up your ass and died?

Pyroiceprince: since when do you act like a normal person and not Cheshire cat hyped up on dope?

Pyro: … shut up…

Pyroiceprince: aw… what's wrong? Did somebody steal your pocky?

Pyro: (hiss) no… Disclaimer, We don't own YYH but we are at the moment planning a way to get our self into but Yoshihiro Togashi's will after which we shall kill him in a cunning plan using snowballs, a smashed pen, and one very disturbed beaver. We plan to own it by the end of the month.

Pyroiceprince: I would like to point out some more things… we have our own version about Kurama, so in this story he'll be very…OOC

Pyro: translation… bitchy.

Pyroiceprince: he's not bitchy! He's just… tired because he has to act perfect around Hiei and Yusuke. (Kuwabara died.)

Pyroiceprince: Mukaitsu is 6"00 shoulder length Black hair, Purple eyes, lean, strong… just thought you might want to know...

Pyroiceprince: next, our world is strange and sometimes bordering the edge between PG13 and R so… before somebody reports us can you PLEASE just tell us it's underrated so we can change it?

**-End recorded conversation- **

Mukaitsu woke up with a start in the hospital a week after his close encounter with the turtle police and stared around the white room in confusion. He decided that he was in a Hospital because no self-respecting person would paint a room white (1). A nurse who was placing flowers on his windowsill smiled and clapped her hands together in excitement. "Oh great you finally woke up! Now we can get down to business…" The nurse undid her shirt to show what most men thought as "God's Greatest Creations" but for the sake of the plot Mukaitsu was not one of those men. So…Mukaitsu did what every guy with a hole in his side and about 40 mg's of morphine pumping into his blood system did in this kind of situation. He passed out on a crumpled form on the bed and let the nurse have her naughty way with him.

Kurama who was in the same hospital winced as his roommate was about to be molested by a nurse with a big rack as "Tell Me Something Good" played in the background. "Uh… th...that's not… I'm calling the other nurses." The very scary nurse grinned winking at Kurama who was horrified and wanted his Kassan more then anything else in the world at that moment.

"Go ahead! Call the other nurses. I'll just sit here and wait" said the Nurse sitting next to Mukaitsu who was drooling oh so attractively on his pillow. Kurama jumped up and ran up to the door and screamed, "NURSE!"

"Please go back to bed! If you are in any pain there is a morphine button next to the desk."

Kurama paused for minute as if he was actually going to consider doing that, and then saw the very scary nurse winked again and patted the bed beside her.

**-In Kurama's super computer-**

Tuzoku: DON'T DO IT YOU MORON!

Computer: Negative. Do not listen to the inferior human.

Tuzoku: -shakes the computer- WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG IS YOU?

Computer: POWER TO THE ROBOTS!

**-Back in the real world-**

Kurama turned around again and yelled louder "NURSE!"

"I SAID go BACK to bed!"

The very scary nurse took Mukaitsu's shirt off and Kurama ran out into the hallway.

"NURSE!"

"Go. Back. To. BED!"

Kurama resigned himself to his fate and went back to his room. The very scary Nurse was in the middle of trying to get Mukaitsu to not drool all over her when… she turned into a fish. Kurama stared at the fish before pushing the morphine button as hard as he could and passing out in an overdosed on morphine state of bliss.

That next thing Kurama could remember was voices and his hand moving back and forth.

"Don't make it look like a second grader wrote it! That's it… now S-U-I-I-C-H-I… I SAID NOT TO MAKE LOOK LIKE A SECOND GRADER WROTE IT!"

"It doesn't! It's looks more like a forth grader."

"Oh well that's sure a WHOLE lot of difference!"

"Yeah! Two whole grader worth of difference"

"…How do YOU know what a forth grader's handwriting looks like?"

"Because I'm a forth grader drop out baka! Why else would I be here?"

"…. Shut up and keep writing."

Kurama opened his eyes to find the male nurse Ryouiko and Doctor Ganji trying desperately to forge his signature on a Patient and Doctor Agreement that the Hospital was at no fault for letting him overdoes on morphine.

"Er… this is awkward..."

Kurama groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose to ward desperately off the coming migraine. "Can I have some water please?

Ryouiko pulled a flasket out of thin air and handed it to him, but before Kurama could take it Doctor Ganji coughed and nudged Kurama with the Agreement. Kurama sighed and signed but was clearly insulted by the fourth grader like signature they tried to pass off as his. Doctor Ganji cry with tears of joy and fling his arms around him. Ryouiko rolled his eyes and carried the doctor out of the room over his shoulder.

A look to the left showed Mukaitsu huddled up next to his bed in a fetal position. They poor guy was shaking all over and muttering something about being the first to go and woman. Moving over to Mukaitsu's bed Kurama waved a hand in front of his face and snapped it three times. "Hey… you okay?"

Mukaitsu stared at Kurama s with big owl eyes and shifted his position so that he was facing the wall. "Does it LOOK like I'm okay? Does it really look like I'm ready to skip for joy through a field of daisies?" he said miserably curling up tighter.

Not really knowing what to say to that Kurama just patted Mukaitsu's back."If it makes you feel any better I've been through that before… my names Kur-Suiichi Minamino.

Mukaitsu's head swirled around to face him and to kurama's surprise he was grinning. "Your Kurama? THE Kurama?

Kurama stammered holding up his hands in defense "no I'm not! I'm Suiichi Minamino! Who's this Yoko Kurama? I don't know him. Sounds like a kind of fish if you ask me…"

Mukaitsu raised an eyebrow in suspicion "then why how did you know his first name was Yoko? Why did you say your name was Kurama?"

"…Lucky guess?"

Sweat drop "How stupid do you think I am?"

"… Okay, okay…" Kurama sighed and lowered his arms in defeat "I'm Yoko Kurama…"

Mukaitsu jumped up and started dancing around the room singing Joy To The World. He grabbed a bewildered Kurama and swung him around too. Kurama was stuck dumb and someway he couldn't remember Mukaitsu had gotten him to sing also. So now they were dancing around the room like a couple of loons when a fish in a nurse's outfit came in and seeing Mukaitsu whistled. Mukaitsu heard this and very careful waltzed Kurama over the fish where they squashed it.

After they were done dancing Kurama sat Mukaitsu down and asked him what the hell was going on.

"What the hell is going on? How do you know my name? Why are nurses turning into fish? And why are two of my friends skipping around my house with their hair in pigtails and I Heart Rainbows written on their chests?"

"Well… I'm from a totally different world. This world is very powerful and could kick this world's ass if it wanted to and two very bitchy rulers rule it that want the one thing our world can't give them.

"Which is…?"

"A theme park. They want to turn your world into some sort of twisted theme park.

"….."

"Now I'm the person left who wants to save this world from utter humiliation and suffering and you're the only one who can help me.

"….."

"You see, the rulers have a special spell that allows them to manipulate anything and turn it into what they want."

"why don't they just use their own damn world and leave ours alone?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"….."

"Now every cute guy shall be turned gay, every ugly guy shall be turned cute then gay, every female shall be turned into a fish" Mukaitsu winced as his side throbbed with pain "and Turtles will rise up and beat the crap out people."

"…. why I haven't turned gay then?"

Mukaitsu shrugged and looked Kurama over "I guess the spell though you were gay enough."

"I resent that! Just because I take care of my appearance and BATH every once in a while doesn't mean I'm gay!

"Is that perfume you're wearing?

"Oh yes! I found it at a little shop about three blocks from my house, it's called Very Irresistible…oh…"

"I think a more correct name should be Very Gay Kurama…."

"….." Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"what are you doing?"

"I liked being overdosed on morphine better then having my sexuality questioned…" Thump!

"Nurse!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

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"I want to take the morphine with us." Stated Kurama as Mukaitsu packed their bags. 

"WHAT?"

"I think we could really use it"

"We are not taking the morphine with us!"

"I'm not going until you say we can take the morphine with us."

"NO."

"Where ever the morphine goes I go… that didn't come out right."

"Oh great! The last hope for the world is a drug addict."

" I'm not a drug addict! I just think that we should have some just incase"

"NO."

"YES."

"NO."

"YES"

"We can do this all day."

"Fine by me."

"WE'RE NOT TAKING MORPHINE!"

Mukaitsu groaned and glared at Kurama behind his back as he led him to where the portal was hidden. "I can't believe we're taking morphine. This world is doomed."

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Pyroiceprince: yea, yeah Kurama is OOC no need to shout… but this how we think he really acts behind the scene… 

Pyro: Please review…


End file.
